11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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