You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
