Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
