Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
