She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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