At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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