Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
