She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
