either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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