I think I won the penis lottery.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
