I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
