I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
