i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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