no you cant smoke seaweed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
