Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize