I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
