she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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