i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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