but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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