I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sarcasm needs its own font
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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