Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize