i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
