Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
