UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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