Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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