I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Do vagina's smell?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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