just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
