Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
