I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
