My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
