Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
