Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize