I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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