btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
