the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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