therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
