you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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