sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it glows. i had to have it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
