We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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