Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
