take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
