Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
