eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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