her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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