i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
