my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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