I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
