saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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