did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
