i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
