i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
