he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
