I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
