I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
