I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize