I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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