Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
