At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
