GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
and she was petting her beer can
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
