Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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