Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
