i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
