Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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