her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
