When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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