You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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