Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Randomize
