and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
