I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
