There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
