yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
