I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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