My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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