I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
